The Men of 2011

To help keep all my men straight, I've created this reference page for you.  Yes, it's true.  I'm such a whore-bitch I have to make a list, ha!

The Dark One
28, long black hair, musician in a metal band, motherfucking sexy, smart, and sweet, but sadly a tortured soul who can't let himself get close to me.  We're now in The Friend Zone.

The Marine
In his early 20's (I'm a Puma, *growl*). Tall, tattooed, tan, body ripped like a fucking Greek God, smile like a motherfucking angel.  The first winner of a Pink Skully award.

The Rock Star, aka Johnny Softcakes
35, used to be lead singer in a rock band that actually made a CD and toured doing shows. Subject of several posts, including Oh, Holey Socks, Back. The Fuck. Up. (part 1) and Back. The Fuck. Up. (part 2).  I originally called him The Rock Star, because he was in my good graces.  However, he has since earned the new nickname of Johnny Softcakes.  How?  I'm glad you asked.

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but name is John, and my Mom would refer to him as Johnnycakes (for those of you non-New Englanders, a Johnnycake is kind of like a pancake made out of cornmeal. Mums is the original kickass bitch! Love you, Ma!).  Mums and I went out one day to grab some lunch and do some errands, and on the drive I was telling her about my last "date" with Johnnycakes.  I got to the part about his statement that we weren't sexually compatible, and in a moment of indignation (remembering that I actually helped remake the bed fired it up), I blurted out to her "And let me tell you, it was impossible to do most of those positions since Johnnycakes couldn't stay hard!"

To which Mums replied (in a mocking tone, of course) "Oh, poor Johnny Soft Cakes!" And then we both laughed so hard she almost drove us off the road and into a ditch, where we surly would have flipped the car and died, still laughing.  Instead I just pee'd a little.  Totally worth it.

Shit-Stain Sven

New Jay City

Stage 4 Clinger

Mr. Sometimes They Come Back


Mr. So Far So Good