Friday, July 29, 2011

No make-believe stories here; it's all true

After a very long and rough road of unfulfilling relationships (read: several years and several asshat boyfriends), I decided 2011 was going to be the year of ME!!  Time for me to stop worrying about pleasing others and bending myself in half to make others happy* and find what I wanted and the relationship that would make me happy.

Which led me to online dating, and emails, stories, and guys so ridiculous that you wouldn't believe me if I told you.  So I told my friends.  And they said "No!  I don't believe it!  You need to write that one down!" and "Tell it again, my husband is so boring.  I only get to have crazy sex if I live vicariously through you" and my favorite "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  Back. The fuck. Up.  He asked you to help make the bed before you left?!"

So, I'm writing them down, and telling the stories again so my friends (and all of you) can live vicariously through me (though I don't know why anyone'd want to). And yes, he really did ask me to help make the bed before I left.

*although in all fairness, at the right times, bending in half could be fun for me, too

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