Friday, September 9, 2011

Things I've Done I Should Be Ashamed Of, But I'm Not

The Marine - Ha, yes, he's number one on the list.  I know I should be a little ashamed that I (a 33 year old woman) had wild, uninhibited, wicked, hot, wild sex with a man who was barely into his 20's.  But he's so hot, and it was so good, there's just no room left for shame or guilt.  Besides, I love having a Puma notch on my lipstick case, and I'm hoping that I'll be married by the time I reach Cougar age.

Cheated - and I don't mean at Poker.  I mean on a long-term boyfriend.  Not my finest moment, not something I'm proud of.  But, as it is, not something I'm ashamed of either.  Neither of us was really happy in the relationship, and when the chance to get some fulfilling from someone I'd lusted after for years came along, I barely hesitated.  Not an excuse, I know.  I was wrong.  If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't do it.  Not because I'm ashamed of my actions, but because it was wrong, and it didn't solve anything.  It was a pointless and useless action.  Except for the lesson learned.  Which was that cheating is a pointless and useless action and it doesn't solve anything.

Being a Tease - There was a time when I was struggling to find my kick-assedness. (Yes, it's a word.  Shut up.)  This mostly centered around finding guys to tell me I was hot, and keeping a backup or two.  Not the most horrible things, but not the best personality traits either.  And then there was the day I let a boy think I was going to fuck him, just so I could fool around with him.  What was so bad-ass about fooling around with this guy?  He was a good amount younger than me, and I needed to prove to myself that I was kick-ass enough to get a young piece of cute ass like that.  And I was.  Am I ashamed I was a tease to this poor guy?  Nope.  I got a great confidence boost in a time when it was much needed and he learned a valuable lesson: some women are all talk and no action.

Being a Puma - Yes, I'm referring to The Marine.  However, I'm also referring to a little kiss and fondle session that occurred not long ago - with a teenager!  OK, before you go getting all, "Ew, that's gross, you should be locked away for molesting kids, you dirty whore" on my ass, let me explain.  Yes, he's still a teenager.  But, he's a 19 year old teenager, so he's legal.  I've dated a man 14 years older than me (Marc, I was 23, he was 37, and goddamn was that man yummy!), and now I've gotten a little action from a guy who is 14 years younger than me.  Is it a big age difference?  Hells yeah.  Do I want to date this guy?  Hells no.  But fuck, it was a great way to pass the afternoon!  Oh yeah, the best part?  In the middle of the fun, I realized I couldn't remember is name, and I still don't remember it.  Ha!


  1. There's no shame in being a puma! Get it girl! :)

  2. Oh Honey, I love you so much right now. I went right past Puma into full-on Cougar mode. Working on a college campus has many fine, ripe, and tasty benefits. :)